Initial Reflections

[Note: This post was written the first day of my study abroad trip]

After my first day, it is clear that this study abroad trip is going to be one of the most intense and overwhelming experiences of my life. Over the past twenty four hours, I’ve been vacillating back and forth between terror at the thought of taking my language pledge and a ready eagerness to pursue it for all it’s worth. It is a strenuous commitment of personal strength that I’ve never made before and that scares the shit out of me. At the same time, the past twenty four hours have been characterized by enough fantastic moments that it would take hours to write them all down in full detail. The single moment where the suburbs of Amman gave way to the rolling hills of Jordan, dotted with scrub, rocks, and houses, as the bus blasted vibrant Arab pop. Meeting the other students on the program and realizing that they’re pretty cool, not the crazy Arab experts I was worried they’d be. Going out for Falafel at ten pm and making impromptu friends with three shebaab who then showed us to their favorite shawarma eatery. 

At the same time, I’ve kinda been getting the tourist experience the past twenty four hours. I’m speaking English with a bunch of Americans getting shown around by people who know the local scene. We’ll see how I feel a week from now after having spent some time with the Arabic pledge. The three young Arab men from this evening all spoke a little English. If our conversation had been only Arabic, it would have been a lot more awkward and a lot less articulate. There are going to be some pretty shitty low points when I get worn down from over-exposure to Arabic and frustration at being unable to fully express my thoughts. If I’m going to survive, then I’m going to need to find those same silver moments when I have a lot more muck thrown in my face then I do right now. 

What’s going to make or break this semester is not going to be my roommate, my ability to express myself in Arabic, or avoiding food sickness, though those are all important things. What’s really going to determine whether or not this semester is a success or not is my attitude. If I am able to let loose my expectations and accept things as they come – cause let’s face it, I do not have much control in this situation – while still persevering and pushing myself to do my best, then this semester is going to be kickass. 

In the meantime, I’m just gonna look forward to tomorrow and enjoy the fact that Jordanian restaurants are as cheap as they are delicious by which I mean both my wallet and my stomach love them J